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Quick Success
Racing Program
1) admit your bike sucks
2) spend a bunch of money making it lighter
(carbon fiber, magnesium, titanium). spend a lot of time cutting
off all those little frame bits that you don't need anymore,
because you'll NEVER want the bike street-legal ever again.
3) admit your bike still sucks, but is easier
to load into the truck
4) spend a bunch of money to make more horsepower
5) admit that your bike not only sucks, but
is unreliable
6) spend a bunch more money so the power you
bought *is* reliable
7) admit that the bike is fast, but unridable
8) spend a bunch of money getting your suspension
redone
9) admit your bike is fast, unridable, and more
expensive
10) spend lots of time trying all those settings,
and getting no changein lap times.
11) admit that you have no idea what all those
knobs and screw are for, and find someone who knows what they're
doing, suspension wise.
12) admit that your bike is now light, fast,
and handles great, but that you suck.
Note: If you stay with the sport long enough,
you can repeat this cycle endlessly. Subsequent cycles can
omit all odd-numbered steps, and consolidate the even numbered
steps except 12, giving my patent-pending "Two Step Program
for Racing":
1) Throw all available money at the bike
2) And realize "I still suck"
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Rules To Live
By
1.Contrary to the popular notion, the best
way to dry off a freshly washed bike is not with a 5th gear
glory blast down a dusty dark alley.
2.Regular maintenance is the key to reliability; irregular
maintenance is the key to great exercise.
3.The 3-percent rule: If you want to go faster, ride with
people who are 3-percent faster than you.
4.The other 3-percent rule: If you want to have fun, ride
with people who are 3-percent slower than you.
5.There is no physical training regimen so strict that it
can't be undermined by a rigorous program of deferred motorcycle
maintenance.
6.Patience is a virtue of many racers. Unfortunately, it's
also a virtue of a lot of losers.
7.The wise racer only pisses off the people he can beat.
8.The secret of successful race tuning is knowing when to
start riding and stop tuning.
9.If you're going to pray, pray for FACTORY intervention.
Divine intervention isn't much use, since the guy upstairs
isn't really all that up on the proper set-up.
10.You can't 2 ½ a triple. At least not a second time.
11.Never underestimate the power of good old-fashioned intimidation.
12.The race goes to the swift. But sometimes none of them
show up, and the rest of us have a shot at it.
13.The more complete your on-board tool-kit, the more likely
it is that all your trail riding buddies will expect you to
fix everything that breaks on their bikes.
14.A good rider can overcome marginal equipment. However,
even the best equipment can't overcome a marginal rider.
15.Blood in your stool is nature's way of suggesting that
you rethink your spring rates.
16.Gravity intensifies with the installation of new levers.
17.You only have one chance to make a first-turn impression.
18.Careful maintenance and preparation is critical to making
your playbike reliable enough to tow your buddy's rat bike
to the truck every weekend.
19.Winning tuners never have "left over" parts
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You Just Might
Be A Racer If
You walk proper lines through the grocery store
with the cart.
You've ever had to explain the term "pucker
factor".
You've paid $5.00 a gallon for gas without complaining.
Your idea of a decent sort of house to buy is one with a
basement and a big garage,a downhill driveway so you can bump-start
your racebike, and a working toilet on the property somewhere.
You bought a race bike before buying a house.
You bought a race bike before buying furniture for the new
house.
You're looking for a bike transport vehicle and still haven't
bought furniture!
You hear "overcooked it" and think "off the
track" instead of "Denny's".
You sit on your race bike in the garage and make bike noises
and shift and practice your throttle blipping/braking, while
waiting for your motor to get back from the shop.
You look at the purchase of tools as a long term investment.
At least one of your children was conceived at a race track.
Your garage has more bikes than your house has bedrooms.
You have enough spare parts to build another bike.
You have bike parts in your cubicle at work.
You registered for wedding gifts at Marietta Motorsports.
After your answer to "How was your weekend?" the
next question is always: "And you do this for fun? Right?"
You've ported your 2-stroke lawn mower, chain saw, or weed
eater.
Your reading material in your bathroom consists of a 1-888-FASTLAP
catalog, and 400 bike magazines, none of which have centerfolds.
Some people only know you by your racing class & bike
number.
Your first date involves asking her to crew for you.
You plan your wedding around the race schedule.
You complain when cars in front of you on highway off-ramps
don't stay on the line, causing your exit speed to drop.
You tell a friend you need to clean up the head this weekend
and they think you mean the toilet.
You gladly pay $9 for a bottle of engine oil.
You hate long distance driving, but gladly drive 800 miles
to the race track.
You save broken bike parts as "momentos".
You've found your lawnmower runs pretty good on 108 octane
gas
You've got 3 immaculate race bikes always race ready, but
your wife has to nag you for 2 months before you fix the headlight
in her car.
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