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The Hillbilly Mountain Ride
By Dennis Oaks
This is a story that I wrote after enduro riding
with some good friends in the mountians of Kentucky and Tennessee.
Someone had said to me that I should plan a trip to ride
in the southern states of Kentucky and Tennessee. I thought
that this was a great idea and with temperatures here in Wisconsin
in the 40 degree range south was the way to go. I was able
to convince seven lucky soles to accompany me on this grand
adventure. I have ridden there in the past and know that it
can be a challenging place to “sharpen” your skills.
The recruits were (not in any particular order) Steve Fischer,
Wayne Vogt, Dave Moller, Joey “dieseljo” Jancoski,
Wayne Petrie (from Petrie Motorsports…( my Ktm racing
sponsor), Erik Adelson and of course yours truly. I knew a
few of these riders where “seasoned” and have ridden
with me in these same mountians before. But we did have some
“newbies” in the mix this time and they had no idea
what they were in for!
The first day we arrived in the southern part of Kentucky.
Driving back to the riding area you see some beautiful wooded
mountains with rocky creeks and streams. The thing is that
the countryside in some of these areas have homes (if you
call an old garage or a trailer (not trailer park house) but
a real enclosed trailer your home) also not that they are
in some of the worst condition imaginable. Joey said that
words could not describe what he saw, so Joey this is for
you…..To help get the picture while you’re living
in your humble abode take all the garbage for 3 years and
throw it out your front door (no bags needed). If your car
breaks down leave it in the yard, it doesn’t matter where.
And if your relatives have any cars (seeing as they are all
living with you anyway) park them all over your yard as well.
Tie the dogs to these cars and they now have a great doghouse!
If your house is next to the creek fantastic! You have disposal
service; just throw everything and anything in the creek and
it’s gone! Some hillbilly geniuses thought that this
would work for the old cars as well so they pushed them in!
(Not one or two but twenty or more). The front door is always
open so they seem like a friendly bunch (yeah right). As I
stood on top looking over the endless mountain tops I swear
I could here the sound of a banjo playing and the movie “Deliverance”
immediately came to mind! I wondered just who was looking
back at me?
The first day of riding was an area called “The Red
Bird Trail”. It was mapped as a 52 mile loop and that
seemed to me easy enough. As we unloaded the bikes I was looking
at how they all looked as if they were prepped for a bike
show and I had to laugh because I knew what they would look
like in a couple of hours. It’s funny when you start
out how everyone is full of energy and is ready to take on
the world.
Well this was going to be a long day because in the first
hour and half we had a flat. Luckly We found a gravel road
that took us back to the trailers where it could be fixed
and everyone could top off with fuel. While Erik handled the
tire repair on his bike we all shot our mouths off at each
other about “ this and that” it was getting real
good! Deciding to start again we picked up the pace and pushed
a bit harder. We would stop every now and again to make sure
the group stayed together. Steve and I wanted to stay back
one time and try and ride through but when we caught up we
found the guys all huddled around Joey’s bike. His story
was a tree jumped right out in front of him trying to tear
him from his bike but he somehow managed to fight it off with
only a bent radiator that wrapped it self around his gas tank.
(Sounds like a tall tale of total rider error to me but I
went for it) He is a funny guy! While fighting off the tree
he slammed his shoulder too, but all the while smiling and
laughing at the fun he was having. (This is good stuff!) I
helped him bend the radiator back and zip tied the shroud
back in place (Ktm’s are tough!) back on the trail. We
rode quite awhile before the next incident which this time
was Wayne Petrie. I was just behind him when he came off the
top of a lip and caught a tree with his right hand guard.
Over the bars hard and landed on some rocks! (Ouch!) I slam
on the brakes and nearly hit him but fortunately I was able
to stop with my rear wheel trying to pass my front over my
head! Wow!! That was close and not really wanting to run over
my sponsor (wouldn’t look good). I straighten out the
bike and after a few moments he treaded on. We rode a bit
longer and got side tracked losing sight of the marked trail.
We started to wander a bit in hopes of picking it up but no
luck. I asked a guy we came upon riding on a quad and out
of the ten words he said I maybe understood two . I don’t
think he helped a bit and I just experienced the true hillbilly
language (Boomhauer).
Traveling on we came upon some more help, not
with directions but with testosterone. We had found a diamond
in the rough (very very rough) and her name should have been
Ely May. She was out scouting for her Pappy (Grandpa) who
recently came out of a two year coma. We couldn’t believe
it and knew we had to take a picture or no one would believe
us. When we asked her if we could take her picture she said
in that southern accent “no one ever asked to take my
picture before” but was glad we did. Joey was quick to
help out with the pose as I took the picture of this mountain
goddess I said to Joey “smile and say Hi Jane” (very
funny!).
Moving on and starting to feel very lost with
the sun setting. We stubble upon another house that an old
woman was at. I went over and asked for some help with directions
and when she replied I looked at Steve and new this was not
going to help either (are these people for real?) We doubled
back to a roadside store that we saw and I asked two truck
drivers for some directions I could not make heads or tails
out of what they tried to tell me so I went inside. The clerk
was our saving grace and gave us what I had hoped to be some
good direction. Off we rode in hopes of finding the trucks
as it was getting dark and riding is tough enough in bright
daylight but really tough when it gets dark. As luck would
have it Wayne Petrie found a slick spot coming out of a mud
hole and went down on the same side he injured earlier just
to make sure that this pain would be remembered for a long
time.
Riding in the dark we finally made it back to the trucks
and had turned our 52 mile loop into a grueling 125 miles!
Upon our arrival we learned that Dave had dislocated his thumb
due to catching it in his hand gaurds and just got back from
a hospital ride. Welcome to day one!
The next day we rode in Oliver Springs Tennessee. The area
to the locals is called the coal creek riding area operated
by the Windrock atv club. This area is owned by the coal creek
mining company and there are endless miles of trails throughout
the mountains that are shared by ATV’s, motorcycles,
and 4x4 enthusiast. All but two rode the second day. When
we were all geared up I looked at everyones faces as they
each sat on their bikes and grabbed on to the handlebars,
I know all to well that every sore spot comes right back and
all you can do is grin and bear it.
We rode (a group of 5) up the mountain to a moderate trail
on the back side. It wasn’t to long before we came upon
some hummers and worked our way past them. Climbing up an
off camber on the left of a big mud hole it took some good
balance and Erik found out how gravity can pull you off your
bike especially when you’re sore and tired. Almost falling
in the mud he dragged himself and his bike up and back on
the trail (good job Erik).
Following different trails and climbing rocky up hills and
twisted down hill sections we were having a blast! Steve found
a steep up hill and up we went over rocks and fallen branches,
washouts and anything else you can imagine. When we got to
the top the group became three. Erik had followed us up this
tough climb and away we rode.
A trail marked #21 went to the west and had a down hill
section that would humble us all. I slid down this thing with
lock brakes over rocks and fallen branches sometimes gaining
speed that totally would freak you out! Steve had lost his
rear brake and dropped his bike a couple of times just to
keep it from falling down this hill. Erik was cautious as
he walked his bike down a bit and rode the rest …What
a ride !! As we found our way back heading down Steve said
he wanted to try that loop again! (He is just as psycho as
I am) I could see in Erik’s eyes that he was heading
back so off Steve and I went to blast out another loop! As
we raced through this time we were laughing and pushing on
each other trying to stay out in front! “Very cool”.
On the way back there is a trail just before the parking
lot called trail # 14 this is the toughest one we’ve
seen and not ever even tried it before. I was feeling pretty
tough by now and said to Steve how about it? We went for it
and it is the nastiest up hill section with stair steps most
the way. At the ¾ mark we had to help each other drag
each bike 15 feet before remounting to ride the rest the way
up. Breathing like dogs that haven’t had water in a month
we had to rest a moment and catch our breath. We finished
the other climbs and finally back to the road leading to the
trucks. Conquered was trail #14 and we both felt like we climbed
Mt. Everest! Back at the truck I think the group was surprised
we were still in one piece and really so was I.
As you can see some of the guys were showing off the bumps
and bruises, that made for a good picture.
I want to thank everyone again for a great time and making
this a trip to remember!
Dennis
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